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Brenda Bradford Ottinger

Encouraging Women to Live Rooted in the Sacred

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As the Porch Lights Linger and the Fireflies Dance

There once was a woman who lived in a zoo;
She had so many tasks, she didn’t know what to do;
She gave them each time without any dread;
Then paused them all feebly and fell into bed.

I can’t say I identify with an old woman living in a shoe. (I mean…what?)

But, oh how I’ve become a middle-aged woman with a zoo-paced life.

While not perfect, I try to say yes  where I’m called and no  where I’m not.

So—why do I feel less like Mrs. Proverbs 31, and more like Raggedy-Brenda?

Am I just too weak, Lord?

My spirit cries prayer upon prayer, till I hush long enough to listen—and in the refrain, a Whisper :

“Rest, child. Just rest.”

Yes, Lord.

And also, how?

I feel you calling me into a summer of quiet, but God—here’s the thing—it seems I’ve forgotten how to be still.

I sit.
I wait.
I pray.

Yet my antsy soul can’t remember how to sing slow’s song. When did the melody change? And how did I miss it?

A rushed energy pulses in my flesh, clanging against my spirit, begging its way out.

My mind, a tangled ball of thoughts and feelings, words and ideas, duties and fatigue. Pulling one strand only makes the others tighter.

Peace. Peace I crave.

How do I surrender to the quiet, Lord?  The whirling throb within wrestles against the shy cadence of calm.

I’ve spent so long giving credence to the rushed, I’ve forgotten how to trust the hushed.

Oh God, the flicker of your whisper is greater than the flame of my hustle.

I want Your pace, Your plans, Your path, Your peace.

In the midst of the blur, I search for you—and always you’re found by my ambling spirit.

Oh Father, teach me anew how to sit small in your presence.
How to submit to the quiet.
How to linger in grace.

Refresh, renew, redeem, remake. All of me.
As the porch lights linger and the fireflies dance.

Perhaps, like me, you’re chasing life so hard, you hadn’t noticed it’s now chasing you.

David writes in Psalm 39:6, “We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing.” (nlt)

Nothing. Wow.

And also, no thank you!

Oh Father, we want to be more than shadows dancing in busy emptiness. We long for a life measured in the things of eternity.

As David testified umpteen-thousand years earlier, “busy rushing” doesn’t satisfy eternal influence.

“Rest. Just Rest.” His words, like candied grace, flood my weary being with gratitude.

All the things He’s called us to? They’re not going anywhere. Not without Him. And all the things He hasn’t? We don’t want them anyway. Amen?

Friend, have you noticed there’s more faith in the letting go than there is in the hanging on?

It’s scary loosening the chains of busyness. Will others understand? Will we lose momentum? Will we still be able to make a difference?

But, here’s the thing I’m learning—as scary as all that is, His faithfulness is greater still.

Whether for a day, a week, a month, or a summer, we can trust the Creator of rest to sift time rightly, restoring a melody of calm to our days.

We need only but to abide.



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Comments

  1. Bev @ Walking Well With God says

    July 27, 2017 at 6:23 am

    Good morning Brenda,
    Beeautiful post today! Submitting to the quiet….abiding in Him….finding worth in resting….these are all things, I believe God would have us seek after vs. the busyness we get ourselves caught up in. The older I get the more I find I love the quiet, the slow, the rest and when life gets too busy I find myself pushing on the imaginary brake pedal wanting to slow it down. For me, I need the quiet to be able to sit at His feet and drink Him in. I don’t want Him in snippets, I want the whole book. Thank you for putting wonderful words to what our hearts desire. Praying His rest upon you.
    Blessings,
    Bev xoxo
    ps. I’m linking up a repeat post because the inspiration has not yet hit me for a new one (still coming out of the fog) lol.
    Bev @ Walking Well With God recently posted…What Does Casting All My Anxiety On Him Mean?My Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 11:10 am

      It’s taken longer to recover from She Speaks than we expected, hasn’t it? Was a lovely weekend with you, friend. 🙂 Pressing that imaginary break pedal with you this summer. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  2. Michele says

    July 27, 2017 at 6:51 am

    “I’ve spent so long giving credence to the rushed, I’ve forgotten how to trust the hushed.” Brenda, why is it so hard to stop the rush and allow the Whisper of the Hush? We might miss something? People will forget about us. Oh, the world of expectations crush the hush. Thank you for your beautiful words of truth and wisdom. All God wants is us. Just us. ❤️ Michele

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 11:13 am

      “Just us.” Amen, friend. Was sooo sweet to see you last week! Hope we meet again next year. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  3. KellyRBaker says

    July 27, 2017 at 7:02 am

    Beautiful words today, Brenda! Quite a few of your sentences are a soothing balm. My heart is feeling a little beat up lately. I ‘m looking forward to a breather with God I planned soon. Your post is a confirmation. Praying for much refreshing for you as well. Many blessings to you, friend!
    KellyRBaker recently posted…When You Need Support to Bear 3,000 ProblemsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 11:17 am

      Oh, Kelly, so glad you’re able to get some time away. That quiet time in His presence is such a relief. I’m sorry your heart is feeling beat up lately. ((Hug)) Prayers for you, friend. I understand. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  4. Joanne Viola says

    July 27, 2017 at 7:46 am

    Yes, yes, yes! Beautiful words. “I want Your pace, Your plans, Your path, Your peace.” Only as we sit small, and let Him be big in our lives, will we discover all that He has for us. He is faithful and all that He does is good. Thank you for calling us all to rest in Him. Blessings to you!
    Joanne Viola recently posted…Do SoMy Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 11:26 am

      “Only as we sit small, and let Him be big in our lives, will we discover all that He has for us.” Yes! Love that, friend. Thanks for being here and always being such an encouragement to me. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  5. Michele Morin says

    July 27, 2017 at 7:49 am

    Trusting for grace to enter into this same resting space, Brenda. It’s a hard assignment to say no to the perpetual quest for “more.” May our hearts sing the song of ENOUGH in a restful key today.
    Michele Morin recently posted…Can Busy Mums Really Find Time to Spend with God? (Part 2)My Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 11:44 am

      Amen to that song of enough in an oh-so-restful key, friend. I pray you find the rest you need as well, Michele. God will meet us there and shower us in His calm. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  6. Sarah Geringer says

    July 27, 2017 at 8:44 am

    Brenda, I understand how you feel, and I appreciate your beautiful writing today. Preparing for She Speaks and beginning a new career as a freelancer really pushed me hard this summer. I’m craving the peace you’re writing about. Spending more time praying in the mornings is helping me set a more peaceful schedule. I hope you’re full of joy from the conference. It was such a blessing to meet you!

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 12:12 pm

      Was so sweet to meet you, Sarah. You’re so full of encouragement. I pray you ‘re able to get the peace you’re craving as well. Prayers for you, friend. And hope you’ve caught up on your sleep! I’m not caught up, but finally feeling like I can join the rest of the world now. 🙂 ((xoxo))

      Reply
  7. Lisa/Syncopated Mama says

    July 27, 2017 at 8:51 am

    Whew! We just returned from our big summer trip and so now I’m trying to get back into the groove (& climb laundry mountain!) Hope you have a great rest of the week!

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 12:25 pm

      Oh yes, I’ve climbed Mt. Laundry a few times myself. Hope you settle back into the groove of normalcy soon, Lisa. ((graces))

      Reply
  8. Paris Renae says

    July 27, 2017 at 9:05 am

    This is fabulous writing and soul mending truth. xoxoxoxo
    Paris Renae recently posted…Heart View…My Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 12:28 pm

      Thank you, friend. I pray you’re gathering rest this summer as well. xoxo

      Reply
  9. Liz says

    July 27, 2017 at 9:11 am

    So beautiful, Brenda! Love this! I’m trying to start out this new season with a healthy dose of ‘NO’ myself! Lord may I only go where you call! Amen!
    Liz recently posted…Word Nerd Wednesday – ExegesisMy Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 12:38 pm

      How nice to get a clean, fresh start. I know it’s hard to be replanted often, but what a blessing to learn from past seasons and start fresh with new ones. Hope you’re settling in well. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  10. Jill says

    July 27, 2017 at 9:36 am

    Oh Brenda, I am so right there with you! It’s so hard some times to ‘trust the hushed’ and I know I need to! I love how you sum it up for yourself and many of us- “there’s more faith in the letting go than there is in the hanging on”-yes, absolutely, I’ve experienced this. I too am trying to quiet the noise of what I think I should be doing and listen to what and where He alone wants me. It’s a difficult path at times, going against my worldly wishes, but it’s oh so much better! Thanks for this inspirational encouragment to keep letting go to Him. (My theme for August btw-not a coincidence, I’m sure ;)!)
    Jill recently posted…Choose Joy!My Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 1:04 pm

      We are on the same thought-path a lot aren’t we, Jill. 🙂 Isn’t it crazy how hard it is to walk out the rest-filled life? I mean, you’d think it would be easy. Oh how we humans like to complicate things, don’t we? Prayers for you as you seek to rest in His presence too, friend. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  11. Kristi Woods says

    July 27, 2017 at 11:27 am

    You offer such incredibly beautiful words, Brenda – both in composition and spiritual resonance. We’re in similar places, asking comparable questions. Right now I have peace, a new trust budding in this busy season. May we both grow in this season, trusting Him more with each breath.
    Kristi Woods recently posted…How We Can Help New MomsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 1:38 pm

      Thanks for sharing that, Krsiti; it’s always nice to know we’re not alone. ((Hug)) So glad you have a peace right now. I’m getting there too. It’s taken many weeks of near stillness to start feeling the beginnings of peace again and I’m thankful for it. Prayers for you as you continue to seek His peace and path, friend. ((xoxo))

      Reply
  12. Charla says

    July 27, 2017 at 12:06 pm

    Brenda! My soul-sister in the zoo! Where have you been? God is speaking rest at every turn. At first, I felt it was a personal problem without friends. But, since March, I have noticed this theme connecting many; so many. Such God-timing! I read Psalm 39 this morning and verse 7 drew me in, ““And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.” (ESV) Rest is something I am not only learning of, but accepting as command. Thank you, Brenda. I love your way with words…and your fireflies! Blessings to your heart and soul!

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 27, 2017 at 4:17 pm

      It does seem to be a theme lately, doesn’t it? I guess God’s got some things He wants to teach His daughters about rest. I know I can use every lesson He affords! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and sharing, Charla. ((hug))

      Reply
  13. Lisa notes says

    July 27, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    ““Rest. Just Rest.” Ah, these words bring peace just reading them! Thanks, Brenda, for reminding us that our best lives include time to rest. It’s what God wants for us. May I do more of it myself.
    Lisa notes recently posted…Does Work at Home Matter?My Profile

    Reply
  14. Kelli LaFram says

    July 28, 2017 at 12:04 pm

    “Yes, Lord. And also, how?” I have responded this way to the Lord so many times and yet I still find myself needing to pray it again and again and again. Will I ever learn?
    Kelli LaFram recently posted…I Have Hope in God :: Quietly Through Thursday (Plus Link-Up)My Profile

    Reply
  15. Julie says

    July 29, 2017 at 10:15 am

    Brenda- yes, Amen! I want peace and refreshment and it’s so hard to find. I agree letting go is harder than remaining on the busyness train. I’m so used to the activity I find it hard to be hushed.
    Love this post, friend!
    Julie recently posted…The Best Reasons Moms don’t Need to be JudgedMy Profile

    Reply
  16. Ruth says

    July 29, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    I like your remake of the Old Woman in the Shoe! 🙂
    I love your prayer.
    Have a blessed Sunday!

    Reply
  17. Lux G. says

    July 31, 2017 at 9:20 am

    Oh, my. I feel like I am her too. LOL.
    Happy Monday!
    Lux G. recently posted…Reflection: What Are You Waiting For?My Profile

    Reply
  18. Shannon says

    August 6, 2017 at 3:41 pm

    I love the statement that there is “more faith in the letting go than there is in the hanging on.” I find this so hard to do!
    Thanks for the reminder and the encouragement to breathe deep and rest.
    Shannon recently posted…Deciding If Preschool is Right for Your ChildMy Profile

    Reply

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Many a time in life I’ve felt I was standing at Many a time in life I’ve felt I was standing at the edge of a sea, hemmed in by its boundary, unable to discern a path forward.
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If this feels familiar, friend, I have the sweetest of news…
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God has not misplaced His plan for your life.
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Our great God is not bound by limitation. His roads can cross right through our seas, on pathways no one knew were there! 🙌
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Oh friend, may you rest quietly before your God at the water’s edge, trusting Him to bring you to a place of abundance.
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The mighty waters of your circumstances are no match for His power, His heart, His purpose.
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You’re not alone, for He goes before you, ordering unique pathways along His timeline—all for you, my friend.
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Set your every hope into the tender palm of God and walk in freedom, for He is able. 💕
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Friend, no matter what you’ve been through…hea Friend, no matter what you’ve been through…healing isn’t hopeless.
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So often it can feel easier to tamp hurt upon hurt deep into our spirits, than to do a new thing.
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But, friend, our God is a God of fresh beginnings who makes pathways through the wilderness and steams in the desert. (Isaiah 43:19)
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You don’t walk alone, for His kindness and faithfulness walk with you through it all.
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This book _Good Boundaries and Goodbyes_ by @lysaterkeurst is a beautifully honest resource for learning to understand & create healthy, Godly boundaries in our lives.
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If you’re looking for a good resource to begin forming healthy boundaries, or are looking for help to understand others’ healthy boundaries, this book is a great place to start.
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I have an extra copy I’d love to give away. Leave me a comment on Instagram if you’d like to be entered to win.
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May this be a stream in your desert, dear friend, the dawn of a beautiful new thing God’s set apart for you. 💕
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About 5-6 years ago I started doing this thing tha About 5-6 years ago I started doing this thing that, at the time, didn’t feel like anything radical or life-changing.
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I simply started trying to stop eating around 7pm, and not start eating again until 11am.
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At the time, I’d never even heard the term “intermittent fasting;” I was just trying this new-to-me thing to help with weight management.
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Over time, I learned that what I was doing was called intermittent fasting, and that it has health benefits well beyond the weight management realm.
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(Search the word “autophagy” if you’re interested in learning more about that.)
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I’m not gonna lie, back when I started, 7pm to 11am was hard! It took some time, and I didn’t always do it “perfectly.”
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These days, I typically go from 6-7pm to 1-2pm. My body has adapted and most days it’s very easy. Often, I’d fast longer except that I take supplements that keep me awake at night if I take them too late in the day.
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Yes, I came to intermittent fasting for the weight loss. (30 pounds has long been gone.) But, I stay because I’ve never felt better. Allowing my body the restorative time each day has been a game-changer for me.
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For a few weeks now, I’ve been feeling like I’m supposed to share this…like someone needs to hear it.
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If that’s you, friend, I want you to know that it’s not as hard as it seems. Start as slowly as you need to. Add another hour or 30 minutes, or even 15 minutes per week until your body adapts.
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There’s no right or wrong. There are no bad days. It’s a lifestyle of freedom. You can switch it all up when you need to or want to for social reasons. It’s easier than it seems.
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I’m no doctor. I’m not medically advising. I’m just a girl who has always longed to make a difference, so I share in hopes of helping.
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No matter what your goals are this year, whether they’re health or relational or work related, it’s okay to go slow. It’s okay to get off track by January 10th and start over again.
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All is progress, my friend. Baby steps count. 💕
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As I sit here, now seven days into being sick, I s As I sit here, now seven days into being sick, I search for words of hope and inspiration to meet us here on this beautiful fresh ground called 2023.
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Words and energy may escape me, but, as we tip-toe into this newborn year—I wish you adventure and abundance, goodness and growth, peace and every joy this year, dear friend.
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