So pleased to have Jill Savage guest-posting with us today for Part 2 of the “But God” series. I trust her words will bless.
My emotions swirled in frustration during this terribly dark season of my marriage.
My husband’s disillusionment with life, God and our marriage had taken him to a place of rock-bottom depression and I had recently discovered that he had been unfaithful.
“God, you have to show me what you want me to do,” I cried out in desperation, wishing the heavens would open up and tell me what to do in a clear voice.
Instead, “I want you to love him” is what I heard deep in my soul.
Immediately I responded, “But God … he’s not very lovable right now.”
“But Jill. Sometimes you aren’t either,” God whispered back.
“Okay, Lord. I get that. You love me when I’m not very lovable. You’re going to have to show me how to do the same.”
That conversation with God launched a much-needed lesson about what real love looks like in everyday life as a wife and a mom.
Love is a blend of affection, devotion and loyalty. It is part emotion and part commitment.
Our imperfect family members need to know that our love is never in doubt. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.
I opened my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and began to perform a love audit as it related to my husband:
- Love is patient. Am I patient with my husband who is so different than I am?
- Love is kind. Am I kind when it takes my husband twice the amount of time to find something I could find in 5 minutes?
- Love does not envy. Do I wish my husband were more like someone else’s husband?
- Love is not proud. Am I hesitant to share how I’m really doing out of a fear of what people will think?
- Love does not dishonor others. Do I ever dishonor my husband, demanding he be someone other than the unique person God has made him to be?
- Love is not self-seeking. Am I ever selfish in my interactions with my husband?
- Love is not easily angered. How much energy do I waste being angry at my husband?
- Love keeps no record of wrongs. Do I have an ongoing list in my head about everything my husband has done wrong?
- Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Do I keep my mind focused on God’s truth about my husband?
- Love protects. Do I protect this unique human being God entrusted to me even when he frustrates me?
- Love trusts. Do I trust that God has a bigger picture in mind for my husband’s life?
- Love hopes. Do I hope and believe the best for my husband, or do I dread what tomorrow might bring?
- Love perseveres. Do I keep my mind on the future possibilities rather than focusing on the difficulties and challenges I’m dealing with today?
As I completed my love audit, my initial “But God” objection turned into a “But God…” transformation as I learned how to love in a deeper way.Tweet This
Eventually my husband shared that it was the love he received that he didn’t deserve that brought him back home.
Our marriage should be a statistic, but today it’s intact and God is using our story to help other couples.
Jill Savage is an author, speaker, teacher and encourager. I first met Jill when I began volunteering with Hearts at Home years ago. Over the years, I’ve watched Jill go through many “But God” seasons of life—and friends, I can assure you, she’s the real-deal. You can see the Jesus in her. I continue to be impressed with how she’s shown up and allowed God to use her life in the highs and in the lows. Her testimony of grace is an inspiration, and I’m blessed to call her friend.
Jill’s newest book, co-authored with her husband Mark, No More Perfect Marriages, is the third in the No More Perfect series. And, she’s getting ready to unveil her newest adventure in April—The No More Perfect Date-Night Community— a place where you can invest in your marriage without leaving your home or hiring a sitter! How great is that?! Click the link to be notified of the launch, so you’ll be sure not to miss it. You can follow Jill at her site and on social media. I know you’ll be blessed by her wisdom and grace.
<a href="http://brendabradfordottinger.com/chasing-community/"><img src="http://brendabradfordottinger.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/cc-image-button.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a>
It’s a pony-tail and sandals environment around here. No fancy rules, just a few things:
- Family-friendly posts only, please.
- Please visit and comment on the post linked before yours–and others as you’re able.
- Please grab the #ChasingCommunity button, or link back here underneath your post. (So others can find us and join the fun too!)
Thank you for bringing your dish to the table–May your ministry of words find community here.
This linkup is closed now, but we’ll meet you back here next Thursday for another #ChasingCommunity!