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Brenda Bradford Ottinger

Encouraging Women to Live Rooted in the Sacred

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Hourglass Interrupted

You’ve probably known this—I’m probably slow—Enough-O’clock: it doesn’t exist. Why am I so late to the of-course-not party?

So often, I discount the sacred echoes enslaved within the deep of my spirit. All too faithfully, I set aside my passions – determining that I don’t have enough time to dive in and do them justice.

Hourglass InterruptedNot so, says Jessica Turner, who recently released her first book, The Fringe Hours. For the last few weeks, I’ve been reading along with a lovely bunch of ladies from the (in)bloom book club, and reflecting on the fringe in my time.

These aren’t fluffy fringe hours that Jessica speaks of; that’s not a book that would have piqued my interest. Her premise is one of uncovering those moments that lie on the perimeter of our days – the minutes that, when combined, accumulate in time…and treasure. The loveliest of treasure—treasure of purpose fulfilled. A fringe that challenges the not-enough-time myth.

Please tell me I’m not alone. That your life is loud, and demanding, and all-consuming too. That you also struggle to hear the bellowing of your soul amidst the relentlessness of the daily.

One thing the Lord’s teaching me this year, and Jessica’s book mirrors, is that when I suppress the hunger pangs of my soul—my callings as a daughter of God—then I’m living right smack within the city limits of my own narcissistic form of holy discontentment. I can check every item off of my to-do list (a sister can dream), and I can even do it with a smile on my face, but this restlessness—the one that begs to be fed—the one that was drawn into me by my Maker for His purposes—it clatters against the prison within. Frustrated. Hungry. Unrequited.

I wake up with it. I walk through the dailys of life with it. I tuck it in beside me at night. It shadows my everything—waiting for the clock to strike “enough”; waiting to dance freely, feet unchained.

The beautiful, blessed, chaotic daily’ness of life—it should serve as inspiration for the inner art, not as competition for it. Diluting the temporal by pouring in a heavy hand of the eternal—doesn’t come naturally. More often than not, my inner feels subservient to my daily. How unfortunate. The temporal—it’s ever-constant; it’ll meet me there every time…right in the daily. Oh, but the eternal—the mystery of power bound up inside the elegance of a soft mist. Hollow unless it’s uncaged, fed, nurtured. Worse than a Survivor contestant going home with an immunity idol in his pocket, is a gift—a calling—dusty, still in its original packaging, waiting to be explored.

Hourglass InterruptedToday, I’ll set out to be a student of the soul. Rather than wait as the sands of the hourglass fall to rest at Enough-O’clock, I’ll unchain the inner cries, beholding as they dance freely – with purpose – as if they were created for it. Careful to let the fringe accumulate in time…and treasure. Sure, you’ll still find me thick in the blessed-busy of the daily. I’ll fix supper. I’ll make appointments. I’ll laugh, and possibly cry, with my people. And…

I’ll write.
And read.
And, perhaps, sneak up on the first buds of spring with my eager new zoom lens.

I’ll dust off the purpose within—offering it back to Him—used, worn, explored.  Chasing Holiness

 

4 Comments

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Comments

  1. Robin says

    March 26, 2015 at 1:04 pm

    Yes!! Offering yourself, poured out, back to God! He gives us these stirrings and passions to be used for our good and His glory, and in the most special of instances, for the advance of the Gospel’s sake. Lovely…so thankful you’re a part of our study this go ’round!

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      May 15, 2015 at 8:37 am

      (((Hug))) Thank you, Robin.
      Thankful to be a part!

      Reply
  2. Holly Barrett says

    July 9, 2015 at 6:00 am

    Love this, Brenda! Yes I live in a crazy, stressed out schedule that feels like it is sucking the life outta me! 🙂 I keep trying to get it under control but it seems like I’m just too tired to turn it around. But that heart pull is strong, so I get up everyday and start over. And some days it is better. Now, if I can just string a bunch of those better days together in a row!! 🙂
    Holly Barrett recently posted…Broken Treasure {Giveaway}My Profile

    Reply
    • Brenda says

      July 9, 2015 at 9:16 am

      Glad I’m not alone. 🙂 Life has a way of becoming a blur around us sometimes, doesn’t it? It’s a delicate balance trying to honor the purpose within while still trying to maintain the rest of life.
      ((Hug)) Thanks for stopping in and sharing today, Holly. <3

      Reply

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Every-which-way I turn, I sense it: Heartache. Su Every-which-way I turn,  I sense it:
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Friend, no matter what you’ve been through…hea Friend, no matter what you’ve been through…healing isn’t hopeless.
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About 5-6 years ago I started doing this thing tha About 5-6 years ago I started doing this thing that, at the time, didn’t feel like anything radical or life-changing.
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I simply started trying to stop eating around 7pm, and not start eating again until 11am.
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